Moments are fleeting

Moments are fleeting.

Some joyous, some painful, and some seem so unbearable you don't think you could take another minute.

Some moments there is a break with reality. You're taken to the heavens here on earth and then to the depths of hell where you just can't find a way out. The darkness seems never ending. Few souls see the light of your eyes which you are sure has dimmed unrecognizable.

Those faint traces of scars you made across your wrists as a child. "Just practising," you thought as you sat on the bench alone in the open air.

The seven little pills you swallowed only to accomplish a three day sleep. If only there were two more, none of this would've happened.

Today was another one of those days. Drifting off to dream the night before with confusion, regret, hope lost. Thinking there is truly something fundamentally wrong with your core being that you could not enjoy the sweetness shared with your heart. That once sweet sleep had vanished. Hours before the realization of a soon to be broken heart, I had given up.

Loneliness consumes you. If you are mindful enough, you remember that this is fleeting. But if you are already cut from reality, if you can't see the ground below or the sky above, memory is also fleeting. Every part of your being just doesn't want to be here anymore.

Through swollen eyes you search for something to cling to. Bring me back to a world that isn't this hellish. A reality that doesn't tarnish your soul.

You'll tell yourself, "never again." But that promise, too, is fleeting.

These words, this melody, saved me this morning.

Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush - Don't Give Up