"chaos is an angel who fell in love with a demon"
Christopher Poindexter
He is her...
Peace amidst the pain
Resting place in the rage
A silent scream in the dry rain
She is his...
Purity amongst the primal
Ravenous will to his revival
A hunger call of light nocturnal
Together...
Brazen amidst the beauty
Ferocity in the feast
Perfect chaos created in tumultuous tranquility
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
#chaosandmearefriends
#poem #poetry
So, yeah...Some chic on a poet community is very well versed and educated on poetry. She said some words, critiqued a few poems and if it was a class room setting, totally can get it.
I don't think I'm a poet. I enjoy writing. I'm not educated in literature. I was a business major.
Writing helps me work out the thoughts in my head and allows me to express them creatively. I'm not looking to be published...most times I am just looking for connection.
This is my retort...
This rhyme and reason
Is an art called treason.
My parable a paradox
Flows extinct as a triceratops.
This stanza too painful
Allowing the disdainful.
Clear bright shining ambiguity
Narrowing the visual acuity.
Structure versus free verse
A free mind, an amatuer curse.
Making sense of connotation
And alluring egregious alliteration.
Forgive the literal for not figuratively
Speaking, naive comparatively.
Running through my mind an epic
A hyperbolic poem seen as septic.
Waste laced words disgraced
As my heart I only embrace.
Excuse me as I open the door,
I'm about to verbally vomit once more...
"So plant your own garden and decorate your soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."
Jorge Luis Borges
In my garden there are
Wildflowers and weeds
Natural growth
From free sown seed
Roses red and refined
Manicured stems
Reaching beauty
Love's little gems
Queen Anne's lace
Delicately intricate
Arise next to
Daisies spring innocent
Lilies and orchids
Decorate with elegance
A bed of sweet peas
Their bliss endless
Daffodils, iris and tulips
Sprout eternal
A passionate declaration
To a ground so fertile
Each petal a meaning
Every stem standing
Soaking in the light
In life truly basking
In my garden of many
Colors and fragrance
Cultivated willingly
With nature's patience.
All my secrets unlocked
Baring every corner
Layout all my thoughts
What makes my heart warmer
All my hidden meanings
Naked on the floor
Worlds I've been screaming
And an abyss adored
All my hearts treasures
Glittering from my chest
Simple life pleasures
Inanimate now fleshed
All my dreams and desires
Floating about my cortex
Even those extinguished fires
The coals and ashes complex
All of myself to you
I can give
Revealing each hue
Each memory relive
If only you would open
That which has been closed
Put back into motion
A love decomposed
A foolish reprise
Flooding my mind
You and I
Watching the tide
Rushing and rise
Vast blue skies
Your hand in mine
Walking side by side
This foolish reprise
Running wild
You and I
A scenic drive
Through the country side
Autumn's colorful tide
Our canvas as we sip wine
Sitting side by side
A maddening reprise
Strolling by
You and I
The garden shines
A wintry delight
Lips as cold as ice
Our warmth combined
Loving side by side
A vexing reprise
Lovers night
You and I
Arms entwined
Legs they slide
Soft touches give rise
Hearts to each other tied
Lying side by side
A dreamed reprise
Refuses my eyes
You and I
The future bright
Thoughts of being your bride
My heart takes flight
Our souls collide
Soaring side by side
The final reprise
A sad goodbye
You and I
Dreams subside
The universe's plight
To us I brought the demise
To my heart I did lie
Away from your side...
No longer...
You and I
Just a foolish reprise...
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
Sometimes, you make really bad decisions that can fuck up a future that seemed so damn right.
Live, learn, try to let go...and love again someday.
Out from the underneath
She crawls
Unraveled
His pretty little doll
Up from the ashes
She rises
Unfurled
His lovely lucid crisis
Down from the skies
She lands
Undenied
His heart on sinking sand
In from the storm
She dances
Unfaltered
His heart he chances
Out from underneath
She comes
Unaltered
His demons she succumbs
My brain becomes as clenched as my teeth sometimes and I need help to unwind all the thoughts that run rampant. I used to be a church girl and drinking and smoking were a no-no. My brain then was permanently clenched.
Now, not so much.
Life of epic proportion
Taking away the distortion
Eyes clouded now see
This woman on the verge of 43.
Free spirit eternally lifted
By artists heavenly gifted
Heart shared willingly
By one on the verge of 43.
Rules and bylaws suppressed
Diluting all the stress
Breathe in the leaf
No longer a child, the verge of 43.
Thoughts and demons are embraced
Barely keeping up pace
Some days nectar you need
To survive the verge of 43.
Once thought sinful and wicked
In your mind they were depicted
Now your thoughts are free
Rightfully owning this verge of 43
So drink a glass of wine
For the down time
And smoke a little tree
My girl...
You're sitting on the verge of 43.
Moments are fleeting.
Some joyous, some painful, and some seem so unbearable you don't think you could take another minute.
Some moments there is a break with reality. You're taken to the heavens here on earth and then to the depths of hell where you just can't find a way out. The darkness seems never ending. Few souls see the light of your eyes which you are sure has dimmed unrecognizable.
Those faint traces of scars you made across your wrists as a child. "Just practising," you thought as you sat on the bench alone in the open air.
The seven little pills you swallowed only to accomplish a three day sleep. If only there were two more, none of this would've happened.
Today was another one of those days. Drifting off to dream the night before with confusion, regret, hope lost. Thinking there is truly something fundamentally wrong with your core being that you could not enjoy the sweetness shared with your heart. That once sweet sleep had vanished. Hours before the realization of a soon to be broken heart, I had given up.
Loneliness consumes you. If you are mindful enough, you remember that this is fleeting. But if you are already cut from reality, if you can't see the ground below or the sky above, memory is also fleeting. Every part of your being just doesn't want to be here anymore.
Through swollen eyes you search for something to cling to. Bring me back to a world that isn't this hellish. A reality that doesn't tarnish your soul.
You'll tell yourself, "never again." But that promise, too, is fleeting.
These words, this melody, saved me this morning.
Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush - Don't Give Up
Back to the night. Back to the dark silence. Left alone to my thoughts. Such a treacherous place. Such a mindful mess.
Constantly drawing the lines that dare not be crossed. Consistently deepening the introspection. Continuously reminding myself that the rabbit hole, while wondrous, is not the world.
Sadness looms when I'm left alone with my thoughts. Feelings of inadequacy and doubts of contentment reach a pinnacle at night. With the switch of the light to turn the room dark, a counter switch is thrown to light the corners of my soul. Thoughts and feelings, rationalizations and judgments, memories and dreams overwhelm my heart and I am left to sort it all out.
This lonely creature longs to find that one kindred spirit. To share the night sky. To wander through the paths of life. A gypsy soul that my heart comes home to. Arms that engulf me with gentle strength. Lips that embrace me with whimsical adventure.
Loneliness seems bigger when the lights are low. Emptiness is deeper when the night sky shines.
Habits
My cup full of coffee
A smoke to start the day
An end to a night
That began the same way.
Sitting alone in the dark
Waiting for that still, sweet voice
Thoughts that are trained
to seek you and rejoice
So today starts a new beginning
Some habits will stay
To get me through the loneliness
In the charcoal gray
What is done can't be undone
And no magic wand will resolve
The hurt that I caused to the one
Around my world did revolve
The colors are muted at sunrise
These thoughts are less than fleeting
But I'll let you go so that
My heart will stop bleeding
With one more sip of coffee
Now cold and one last drag
I'll get my day started
Trying to reduce the lag
Habits don't change
And the heart won't let me forget
All the ways you touched me
Overwhelmed with regret
An astonishing prince
A kind and gentle soul
Longing for love
To chase away his despair
Here he is
Before and after
Sharing hopes for a future
Accolades of love
Chains and guilt from the past
Ruined in such a short time
I left him in
Shock and surprise
Just a little more time
The voice became clear
He is your love's true call
Don't let it be too late
Now here I stand
Clarity and confusion
Only seven days gone
Already another holds his hand
Weren't we worth more
Am I justified to even ask
Here we stand
Hastily and patient
Sobbing I sat in my truck
Last night to be sad
Recognizing the intent
Was it ever heartfelt
To let you go
Grief and peace
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
Hey 12 year old self
Give me just a sec
Let me tell you Beth
There's more to life than death.
I see you sitting on that bench
Your mind alone and clenched
Lines traced across wrists avenged
Your soul overwhelmingly drenched.
Look up to see the beauty
Life is more than living mutely
Your strength will overcome all cruelty
Love your life absolutely.
Feeling this world could do without
Your little free-spirit filled with doubt
Searching for what this is all about
I'm here to tell you death is no way out.
That friend sitting in your corner
Looking to you too take away the disorder
She needs you, her comforter
Living your absence would be pure torture.
That boy all of the girls adore
With him you have such rapport
He'll talk to you about the underscore
His heart on his sleeve he wore.
Don't be discouraged by his never-ending plight
Of finding a cute girl even though, despite
Your sitting by his side heart in flight
For you, my girl, he's just not right.
Little girl pick up your eyes
Away from your demise
Don't let those feelings disguise
Your heart as colorful as the most beautiful sunrise.
Light, grace and love abound
Floating through life without a sound
They see it, in you, feet firmly ground
You above all others they have crowned.
Little girl, take a moment
Thoughts of escape can be too potent
For such a soul not nearly frozen
These words need to be spoken.
So 12 year old Beth
Just give me a sec
Wait to take that last breath
There's more to life than death
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
Awake this Sunday morning
After transmitters and synapse
Have tried to make sense
All my thoughts they unwrap
The coy little reminder
Left on my pillow
Perplexing and daunting
My mind a glowing billow
What can it mean?
What did it say?
Should I try to understand
In some Freudian way?
A short quick phrase
Was all that they left me
To ponder and vex
To some extent agree.
On a small piece of paper
In a short quick minute
With gold leaf and filigree
Beautifully it was writ
A sentence unlike me
Or so I thought
It's just a dream they say
No reason to be distraught.
Dreams as wondrous
As grueling nightmare
Some foretelling
Most your soul bare
If this foretold
In four fragments
Then all things to come
Run wildly rampant.
If this is my soul
All masks taken away
Am I living a lie
Day after day?
The words freeing
"Here comes Ms. Evil."
Four lovely writ pieces
Yet to the mind deceitful.
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
Lips in passion
Intertwined
Soft and satin
Tone in reappraisal
Compounding
Sultry and playful
Lovely in hue
Combinations of
Me and you
Gloss transfixed...
Color bewitched...
Chaos eclipse...
© Evelyn Elizabeth
There are days when I just want to hear,
"my god, you're beautiful."
And yeah, I want to hear it from a man.
And no, I don't have a particular one in mind or know his name.
No wait, that's a lie.
I may not know his name,
but I know who he is
and what he sees in me.
And no, not "he" literally,
but figuratively.
When he utters those words,
"my god, you're beautiful,"
he doesn't say it because my frame and sway meet his desire.
He says it not because my eyes are a pale hue of blue
or due to my lips perfectly pursed.
Not because I'm dressed to the hilt
or my hair is just right.
Those things are nice, I'm not gonna lie... but that's not why I want the words falling
And no ego boost needed
as if I'm having a bad day or I'm lonely,
because I'm not.
No justification that I've made right choices.
Each decision I've made is mine
and I'll own them every damn time.
Those words aren't for my validation.
I'm validated from knowing I am surrounded
with people already beautiful to me.
I know my worth and my beauty.
"My god you're beautiful,"
means he sees me.
"You create and see the world wondrous."
"You love and are overly generous."
"You exist and live peacefully."
"You lead and do it humbly."
"You thirst and quench with wisdom."
"You hurt and don't play the victim."
"You trust and earn loyalty."
"You smile and laugh joyfully."
"My god, you're beautiful,"
he says to me.
And in him, more beauty I see.
From me he pulls my words when I'm silent.
When I'm lost he offers guidance.
Slow to anger and empathetic.
Revels in ecstasy and romantic.
A gypsy soul and bohemian.
Has made peace with all his demons.
"I see you in me."
"I see your worth and bountiful beauty."
My god, you're beautiful.
(c) Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
Waking with tears in my eyes
From this simple plea
Unrequited love, unrequited goodbye.
© Evelyn Elizabeth
"Quiet people have the loudest minds." Stephen Hawking
They're thinkers and doers
...Not sayers and liars
Brains running a mile a minute
Just to watch you finish
That last line...
That last rhyme
You drop to the floor.
Thinking my god...
....no one's said that before.
They ponder every eccentricity
Loudly, awing at its electricity...
Never missing form
They know what life's for...
Life is what you make it
...love, peace and soul to transmit.
Illusions, dreams and reality...
Mix with a tender ferocity.
Quietly they wait
For the breathing of heaven's gate
Beauty overflowing...
Simply mind-blowing.
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
Nicotine
Caffeine
Morphine drip
Candy
Soda
Sugar coma
Gamble
Expend
Nothing thrift
You
Me
Things between
Everything is so damn addicting...
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
Thoughts of contentment
And anxious resentment.
Words not forthcoming,
Visions unbecoming.
Seeking clarity and reason
For that one true beacon
Of light, love and peace
Which is just within reach.
Knowing "this, too, shall pass"
Only an hour through the looking glass.
Floating through time and space
Only your soul can embrace
That which your heart has to offer.
You are the Universe's daughter.
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
No need to preach
On the soul's siege.
We'll ever know
Condemned sorrow.
Our spirits forbid
To lamely lay timid.
To continue wanting
All love's haunting.
Never hardened to stone,
Forgiveness ever atone.
Hearts are meant to fly,
Colliding with the sky.
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
An awkward silence
Like lovers after the rain.
An inward glance
Nothing feels the same...
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
She was there when you were feeling blue,
When life fell through.
She was there to pick up the pieces.
Your mind she eases.
She was there to fill the void,
After the heart was destroyed.
She was there to spark the fervor.
To be the next click of the cursor.
She was there to become your next
Upon a pedestal of gold flex.
She was there to calm your fears.
Eradicating the tears...
That all too soon disappeared
Vanishing to thin air
She was there..
I am here.
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
Leathery tendrils
Soft tentacles
Reaching voracity
Displayed pageantry
Muting the snap
Flesh a gap
Lips silently wept
Passions erupt
Behind me he roars
My sweet dirty whore
Collapsed begging
Thighs forced spreading
His prized possession
Him, her only obsession
Her body he owns
Sir upon his throne
Of primeval desire
His queen set afire
It's amazing to me that some days I can miss something that was never mine.
This lump in my throat
All the rage that is not quenched
This loneliness is gathered.
Screaming to be let loose.
Just one more time.
This tempest in all its madness
Down pour on the verge
A moment of chaos in time
Passionate misgivings run wild
It has all settled in comfortably
Whether temporary or permanent
Today seems never-ending
Let it come to close with a breath.
Leaf's Scar
Life to a chemical process,
Crossings of awe and science.
Carbohydrates slow,
Disappearing CO2 & H2O.
Chlorophyll's green,
Orangish baits Carotene,
Yellow Xanthophyll,
Anthocyanin's red, brown and purple.
Residue of pigments
Making a canvas brilliant.
Limbs cellular development
Brings the leaf's detriment.
Heavy, its own weight.
Blown by winds of fate,
Sever and fall to the earth floor,
Terra firma nourished once more.
Thousands of miniscule pinpoints
Growth covering the joint
Of the fallen apparel.
Arbors embracing skies sterile.
Along its many limbs
Signs of healing begin.
Amongst nature's bizarre
How powerful the leaf's scar.
A delicate lie
Behind your eyes
Deeply hidden
Beneath the forbidden
Your journey
Forever burning
Wandering about
Love's earthly shroud
Just another hand
Of a soul be damned
To forage desire
Of a body admired
A delicate lie
Becoming a war-cry
Lips display
A heart's disarray
This moment
Woefully stolen
Fleeting beyond
Soul's heavenly bond
Just another hand
Of a soul be damned
To forage desire
Of a body admired
A delicate lie
Floating nye
Sounds of beauty
Listening mutely
Metered temptations
Allures brazen
Accepting above all
The siren's lovesick call
Just another hand
Of a soul be damned
To forage desire
Of a body admired
A delicate lie
Streaming by
Touching quietly
Limbs open silently
Heavenly dimensions
Of sinful perfection
Embodied below
Lovers deceit expose
Just another hand
Of a soul be damned
To forage desire
Of a body admired
A delicate lie
Told by you and I...
© Evelyn Elizabeth 2015
